My Husband, the Genious! Tortilla Pizza!

Ask any gluten-free guy or gal what they miss most since being GF, and inevitably, within their long, long list of old favs, and accompanied by a dispondent sigh, you'll hear "PIZZA".  Now, that's not to say you can't pay at least 3 times the price for some GF pizza-like concoction from the "natural foods" freezer section, or risk spending a fine Saturday night "a la com'mode" having been glutened by some trendy, well-meaning, but cross-contaminating pizzeria... it's just that sometimes you just need a (quick) pizza fix! Here goes:

Hubbs threw this together for a quick afternoon snack... and, to my chagrin, it was AWESOME!  And so super simple!  Way to go, Hubbs!!

Lesson: Under the duress of hunger, this man is quite clever.
Note to self: Next time Hubbs plays the role of 'helpless hubby' (conveniently, from the cozy lap of the sofa), withhold food until he comes up with something just as good as tortilla pizza.  ;)


Tortilla Pizza!

Just enough for a snack:
1 corn tortilla
About a 1/4 cup of tomato sauce
As much shredded mozzarela as pleases you
A sprinkle of oregano!

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees
Dress the tortilla with the tomato sauce
Sprinkle the oregano onto the sauce
Top with the shredded cheese

Use a wide spatula to place the dressed tortilla pizza directly onto the clean, upper oven rack and place a piece of foil on the rack below to catch any drips.  Cook for no more than 5 minutes until the cheese is melted and the tortilla bakes to a nice crisp.

Use that wide spatula again to remove the crisp pizza, and enjoy! 


That's it.  I'm telling you, this man is a genious...

Ode to childhood or cultural faux pas? I give you: MISH MOSH... and APPLESAUCE!

"Criss Cross Applesauce!" --- for many of you, this phrase, alone, can take you back to a long ago time, fond childhood memories, the sweet-but-salty smell of play-doh, an imparting of a favorite Berenstain (seriously, that's how they spell it- can you believe that!?) Bears family lesson, the curious taste of paste, and the unmistakeable smell of fresh sawdust in the far corner of the classroom.  Ahhhhhhhh...

For others, like me.... NUTTIN'.  Absolutely nothing!

A few months ago for work, we observed some early childhood classrooms (what the less-fancy know as day care) as part of a project to develop a new, educational children's book for the campaign. Cool, huh?  It was, trust me. :)  Anyway, on two different occasions, the classroom teachers called out "Criss Cross Applesauce!" to which, all the children quickly gathered 'round, assembled "indian-style" in a nice little circle for storytime.  The first time it happened, I shirked it off, figuring it was just a one-off... then, in a different day care center in a different part of town.... AGAIN with the "Criss Cross Applesauce"!!  I couldn't believe it!  I had never ever heard that phrase in all my life, and apparently I was the only one who hadn't-- everyone in my group nodded, oh yeah, "Criss Cross Applesauce", as if it were as common as scoring two hail Mary's for penance for pushing someone in the recess yard (ok, a personal, but not great example). 

Alas, "Criss Cross Applesauce" is clearly some entree into a subculture I was robbed of as a child.  Freud would be proud- because I'll have to blame my stay-at-home mom for that one.  What was she thinking sacrificing her career and independence and robbing me of all that high-quality "out-of-home" care all those early years!?!?  (just kidding Mom, really!)

For my super Mama, who even flew down from PA to come take care of her 30 year old baby during my recent recovery, I offer:  MISH MOSH... and APPLESAUCE!!  :)  Thanks, Mom!


MISH MOSH... and APPLESAUCE!
Whatcha need to serve two with plenty of leftovers for lunch (or 4):
   -1 lb lean ground beef (or turkey),
   -1 half bag frozen "Potatoes O'Brien" (potato cubes with diced onion and pepper)--should be gluten free, but check the label just to be sure there is no hidden wheat.
   -1 half small bag frozen "vegetable soup mix" veggies (may include limas, green beans, peas, carrots, celery, corn and, if you buy in the South, okra. --Yankee friends: okra is just something else that we here in Dixieland like to deep fry)
   -About a 1/4 cup worchester sauce (check the label to be sure it's gluten free) and 1 tsp or so of black ground pepper or however much pleases you

1. In a large frying pan, brown the ground beef. As it is cooking, season with fresh ground black pepper and Worchestershire sauce (careful- some contain wheat!  I use French's brand, which is gluten free).  Drain the excess fat (not really necessary with lean beef or ground turkey).
2. Push the ground beef off to the side a bit then add the Potatoes O'Brien and the frozen veggies mix.
3. Mix all the ingredients in the frying pan well and cook over medium heat, covered for about 5 minutes (careful not to let it burn!).
4. Continue cooking over medium heat and stirring until the potato cubes and carrots are hot and tender.
5. Test it!  If you feel it needs more flavor, season with additional worchestershire or, my favorite, celery salt!  OR, you can serve it as is (in a large bowl, of course) but put out the celery salt, some hot sauce, worchestershire, or ketchup and see how the mood strikes you or your chow partner.  I would, however pick only ONE of the above condiments, or you might be in need of some fresh sawdust... if you get my drift.
6. BUT WAAAAAAAAAAIT!!!!  What's for dessert!?!?!?!  (a promise of which, I am told, is the only reason I ever choked down a meal as a child)....  APPLESAUCE!!  :)   Crack open your favorite jar of applesauce, (okay, add a little fresh ground cinnamon if you must, fancy-pants) and ENJOY!!!

(a little later on...)

So curiosity killed this cat.  I was so intrigue by the whole concept of "Criss Cross Applesauce" that I had no choice but to google it. Wow. According to Wiktionary I am in dire need of Cultural Competence training: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/criss-cross_applesauce  I apologize to any Indians I might have inadvertantly offended with my above description. I am apparently way out of touch.

Tuna + Tater + Cake = TUNAtaterCAKES Yum!

Tuna (canned): cheap, easy, and VERY healthy (in moderation).
Sweet Taters: a tempting tuber.
Cake: God's work.

Tuna, meet Cake. Cake, be nice to Tuna, he's short on friends, but tall on OMEGAS. Tater, this is your chance to make a name for yourself in months that don't start with NOV and end in EMBER, so don't screw it up! There, we're friends. Now let's DO this!


TUNAtaterCAKES- yum!
(a gluten free cake that you can eat for dinner!)

1. Peel and cube one small sweet potato and pop it into the food processor until it's finely shaved or diced. Use your hands to squeeze out some of the excess juice if there is any. Do the same with one small onion (or a half of one large onion) if ya like onion.
2. Open, drain, and dump two cans of tuna (I prefer white albacore in water) into a medium mixing bowl. Add the processed sweet potato and onion and use a fork to break up the tuna and mix them together well.
3. Add a generous tablespoon of mayo (lite will work fine) and add one egg, mix well.
4. Add about a teaspoon each of onion powder and celery salt and as much OLD BAY spice and ground black pepper as pleases you (I love the stuff- but it can get pretty salty if you use too much-- so don't worry about using enough now, you can add more later if you want more flavor).
5. Mix the whole concoction well and use a tablespoon and your hands to make palm-sized cakes a little less than an inch thick.
6. Preheat a griddle or large frying pan and add a tablespoon or so of olive oil. Once hot, but before it starts smoking, gently place the cakes onto the oiled griddle (or into the pan).
7. Cook on medium-high heat for about 5-6 minutes on each side.
8. Remove from the heat and test. Top with a brief shake of Old Bay if you feel it needs more flavor.
9. Serve with a crisp green salad for a complete meal.

Enjoy your TUNAtaterCAKE and eat it, too!

Oh Crap! Cupcakes!?

Even though I don't have kids, I still get to experience those frantic mornings when you've hit the snooze one two many times (oh crap!), and while on your way to the kitchen for some caffeinated redemption you narrowly miss a pile of "last night's dog chow" strategically placed on the nearly white carpet (oh crap!), only to meet your (imaginary) 8 year-old glaring back at you in the bathroom mirror with a "mommy, remember I need to bring cupcakes to school today" look. CRAP!!! Love those mornings, don't you? Calgon, take me away!!!!!!!

I work for the federal government (and seriously love my job, by the way)-- but, we have A LOT of meetings. We invite important people to these meetings, however "the rules" prevent us from spending a dime to sustain the lives of these important people so that they actually survive the full duration of our marathon meetings. Thus, we, the civil servants, bake. It's actually a never-discussed requirement of the job-- but let me tell you, they do have a "ability to bake" calculation when they are scoring those God-awful KSAs. (Bake sales come in handy when our public health program budgets are cut. Some coined 2000-2008 "the baking years"...I digress.)

I love to bake. However, before the hour of 9am, I don't much love anything at all... I struggle even with my adorable, perfect husband. It's not his fault. I was born at 11:10am-- why? Because, frankly, I slept in that day- it was my BIRTHDAY, for crying out loud! Can't a girl get a little beauty rest before having to face the world on her birthday!? ...there I go digressing again.

Anyway, any rational person would just cut the pre-work primp short (because frankly, these important people much rather EAT than admire your looks all meeting long), and swing by the market to grab some not-made-today but not-quite-expired, ready-made, neon icing topped cupcakes. Another thing I'm not before 9am? --Rational.


"Oh Crap! I forgot about the cupcakes!" CUPCAKES
(Special thanks to Ms. Betty Crocker for her gluten free cake mix- even if it is more than twice as expensive as the gluten-filled variety. Alas, I love that woman!)

Tip: no right-minded woman should go a day without eggs in her frig, oil in her pantry, Betty Crocker in her corner, and a bag of Snickers mini's (or another favorite GF mini chocolate candy) hidden in her sock drawer.

1. Do as Betty says. That's right, follow those directions!
2. BUT WAIT-- here's where it gets good: just before you slide the battered filled cupcake pan into the pre-heated oven, pop a Snickers mini into each of the cups!
3. Bake like Betty tells you (however, the clean toothpick in the middle method ain't gonna work this time).
4. Remove from the oven and cool (place them on the floor of your car while you drive to work)-- guess what, these yummy-filled beauties don't need a lick of icing!

So deeeelish, those important people will remember nothing from your meeting but the awesome Oh Crap! Cupcakes :) Well done.

If you're not a snickers fan, here's a list from celiaccentral.org of GF candy http://www.celiaccentral.org/SiteData/docs/Gluten-Free-Candy-List/370e802df5a4b099ad419d940cf8fe22/Gluten-Free-Candy-List.pdf (though something tells me BubbleYum bubble gum wont work quite as well...)

Viva la Corn!

So, Hubbs is a super-duper soccer ("football") fan and cheered his little British heart out for England in the recent World Cup only to get sheer disappointment in return. Poor guy... after a few days sulking, he began to root, quite convincingly I might add, for the Dutch. Alas, the Dutch made it to the finals but lost to Spain in extra time. Lesson here: don't put your money on Hubbs' picks!

At any rate, well done to Spain! In honor of their victory (and my own half-hearted relief that the World Cup is finally over) I offer a fun little side dish.... VIVA LA CORN!

Viva la Corn!
(super easy, healthy, and gluten-free with a kick!)

1. Mix one can of black beans (drained and rinsed) with one can corn (drained)
2. Add about a 1/4 cup (or however much pleases you) of salsa verde (green salsa) from a jar-- (I really like HERDEZ brand (others can get a bit too spicy in my opinion) and can find that one in the "ethnic foods" section of my grocery store)
3. Mix together and either heat through on the stove or in the microwave, then serve hot.

Muy delicioso!

(Indeed I realize this is much more likely to be a Mexican-style dish than Spanish, but, well, I needed a theme... forgive me!)

In Memorium of Capt'n Phil... (and what we had for dinner on the debut of my new blog!)

It's a bird, it's a plane... nope! It's a pig in a green pepper boat!

Threw this together and STILL had enough time to create my new blog (from scratch)!

Pigs in a Green Pepper Boat:

1. Wash, hollow out, slice lengthwise into thirds, then steam 2 large green peppers.

2. Open a plastic container of store-bought, ready-made BBQ pulled pork. We happened to use "Curly's" brand because it was on sale and is GLUTEN FREE (no wheat, barley/malt, rye or oat, BUT modified food starch is listed in the ingredients, which I know some people avoid-- though our dietitian said it's safe in the U.S.).

3. Steam the peppers for a solid five minutes or until they are pleasingly cooked in your opinion, then take them out and pat them dry.

4. Fill each steamed, green pepper "boat" with a hearty scoop of pork then top with just a bit of cheddar cheese.

5. Place on a cookie sheet and put into a 375 degree oven.

6. Cook for about 20 minutes, or until the cheese is melted and the meat heated through.

7. Top with salsa, if you wish, and serve

Voila!!


Need quickie side ideas for this dish? Here goes: salad, steam fresh microwavable veggie bags (but check the ingredients, some that come with the sauces contain wheat!), brown rice, or black beans with chopped onions on top! How's that for inspiration?!

P.S. These green pepper boats were named in honor of one of Hubbs' heroes. R.I.P. Capt'n Phil

Seriously?! I don't have time for this!

Well... apparently, I have just enough time for this and I am a serious glutton for punishment-- ask anyone. Luckily, I am a bit of a glutton for food, too.

Most of us don't have enough time... not for exercise, not for yard work, not for "keeping up with correspondance" (ya know, Twitter, Facebook, text messaging, email), and certainly not enough time for figuring out how to make a delicious-enough, relatively-life-sustaining GLUTEN FREE dinner! Seriously!? I barely have the energy to think about dinner and you're telling me it's got to be GLUTEN FREE?? Yeap. Awesome. [Hubbs (my amazing husband of nearly two years) was diagnosed with celiac disease in April '09 and it's been an "adventure" ever since!]

Granted, I always feel better after a hardy whine, but what on earth does this blog have to do with any of that?!? Well, here goes: every once in a blue moon, I have a stroke of GFCG... no, thankfully it's not some horrifying medical condition... but rather, GLUTEN FREE CULINARY GENIOUS! Now, everybody knows that a blue moon refers to the third full moon in a season with four full moons, or the second full moon of a calendar month (thank you Wikipedia)... at any rate, that's a blue moon about every two or three years. I don't need some bloguru (yeah, consider that coined!) to tell me that a single blog post about every two or three years does not maketh a good blog. Thus, I will be blogging some slightly-less-than-genious, but nevertheless super-quickie, moderately-delicious (Hubbs-approved), relatively-life-sustaining, but entirely GLUTEN FREE recipes as often as, frankly, I can find the time for. And, c'mon, who doesn't have time for a quickie!? ;)